Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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