You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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