awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
