i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I AM VODKA MAN
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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