She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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