I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
