Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
