I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
