Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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