kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
