yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
40s are totally the cure
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
