accomplished twins. life is a go
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
