his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I understand Curling. That high.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
