I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
