bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
