sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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