i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
