i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
