Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
