You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
