dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize