My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
