I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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