What a fucking waste of an outfit
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
even my farts smell like vagina
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
