is your mom at the bar?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
