I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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