Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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