So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
