I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I looked at my own cervix.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
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Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
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He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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