Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
