i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
