Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
