literally had 100 drinks last night.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
