Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
