I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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