Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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