if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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