he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
