im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
