I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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