I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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