Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
