still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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