hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
