i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
it's not cheating when I paid for it
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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