so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
