You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
