some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
