He is such a slut. More and more my type.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
