so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
