Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
