Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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