I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
