Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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