i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
