We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
