i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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