Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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