I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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