Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
