I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
