if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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