so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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