I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
