If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
