ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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