come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
